On sitting through Dark Times

13 May 2024, Daily Meditation

Photo by Ankhesenamun on Unsplash

Not all of life can be sweetness and light.

Unfortunately, in our culture, if it is not, we tend to label it as “wrong” or “bad” or even “depression.” We internalize this and the minute all is not going well, we become worried and think we must do something to change the state of mind we are in.

Consider that this is just part of the flow of our lives. Like the waves in the sea. all of life has an ebb and a flow to it.

Like the seasons or the weather, there are dark days and light.

This is how I had to talk to myself this morning.

I am going through an ebb period right now. Everything is not upbeat. I am a bit more overwhelmed by things, more easily than usual. I feel more tender. I can rise to tears easily. I feel easily overwhelmed.

How am I to address this?

Here are some of the choices I have, things I have done or could do: In the past, I have addressed periods like this in the manner of my culture. If it goes on for too long, I might seek out a doctor who will prescribe anti-depressants. It will relieve my symptoms, but also salve many other feelings and put me into a semi-numb state. I know from experience that this will solve what I may define as my “problem.” It may also cause some other problems, like numbing me to many other aspects of my world. At times, this has been a necessary part of the cure.

I can create space for the feelings to flow. That means being sensitive to my world, perhaps loosening some of the demands on my life, increasing my self care, taking more time to attend to my own needs. I can journal, walk, talk with friends, perhaps get a massage, do any number of self-care tasks I know will help me to call up what is going on internally.

I can “ride the wave.” Be gentle with myself while simply walking through my daily life. Have my daily schedule as it is. Be mindful of things as they are, attending to my life with a slight bit more awareness of my changed mood. Walk through my day aware, attuned and paying attention to whether there is something “big” going on or whether this is simply an ebb and flow.

Most likely I will allow my awareness to carry me and be alert to doing a combination of the three. A sort of step up program as need be. I feel blessed to have developed awareness over the years of dealing with “depression” and now not needing to be afraid of my moods. What used to take me over and drag me to the depths, now is like a sleeping bear who might wake.

I recognize the signs, but I don’t panic. I slip into a form of awareness. I continue to breathe. I am grateful for the resources I have learned and for my friends, my inner resources, and for mindfulness. I remind myself, “This too shall pass.”

I am also grateful that I have learned that life has an ebb and a flow, and not everything is illness.

Breathing in, I know that I am breathing in. Breathing out, I know that I am breathing out.