Do you have the patience to wait till your mind settles and the waters clear? Can you remain unmoving till the right action arises by itself? ~Tao Te Ching 15 (Stephen Mitchell, trans.)
To this I often reply a resounding, “No, no, NO!” as my life in that moment is a lake of ripples resounding the call. I do not like to admit this as I hold a mirror to the ripples and behold the people-pleasing and the devastation it has raked over my life and over the lives of others. Impatience!
Today I sit in the face of this teaching and contemplate the pattern. I’ve begun an inventory of myself and the repetitive patterns of over-serving at the price of my self-care and unbalancing in my own life. What is the price of impatience and lack of the word no? Who suffers?
I love a life of service. I love to waken to the sound of “What do you have for me today?” Nothing pleases me more than to help another human being to find a path to recovery. However, often I forget to serve my own health and welfare in this process. I become over-tired and over-wrought. Then I become snappy with my family, or weary and sick and fatigued. What purpose does this serve? And it is a repetitive pattern, so I must look at the causes and conditions!
It is interfering with my own spiritual journey. A dear friend said to me this morning, “The advice we give to others, maybe we need to go to the mirror and talk to that person, write a letter to the girl in the glass. Let her know how we’re feeling.” It hit home. I am doing just that. Sharing as though I were talking to one of my sponsees. Questioning how things tend to get so out of balance and why she can’t see it.
What are the consequences of waiting, pro and con? What happens if you take equal care of yourself that you take of others? What’s the matter with resting? What’s wrong with letting them take care of themselves for awhile? What do you think will happen? Do you believe that their HP has them? Can you just rest awhile? Why or why not?
The essence of this chapter of the Tao is that everything takes care of itself. We can’t push the river. Better to let the waters settle as they were meant to. Trust. Welcome what develops…let the seed grow roots.
I feel myself being called to simply relax and trust — can I do it? Am I an imposter?
Breathing in, I know that I am breathing in.
Breathing out, I know that I am breathing out.
I sit. I breathe. I wait.
Namaste.
This is very helpful to me. Thank you
Powerful message!